Why you're not getting a response/getting bad dates

I came across this one when I was going through my old posts. What was written back then still rings true these days.

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Done with work and having an hour to kill before quitting time, I was checking out the Rants and Raves section on CL (again) and came across this gem. This doesn't only apply to CL but on any online site where people are looking to meet people for any reason.

Enjoy!

**Why you're not getting a response/getting bad dates (Tokyo)

Just a few tips from someone that's had some success here and talked to some great NORMAL people.

General Issues

You're not a prince/princess! Lower your standards. Let's be honest: if we're on this site, there's something different about us. We're workaholics. We have non-traditional lifestyles. We're not super attractive and/or have personality issues. Stop looking for a perfect match and look for someone who just makes you happy in whatever you're pursuing: friendship, love, or even a one-night stand.

You keep making the same mistake! Only meeting jerks that use you? Stop sending naked pictures in your initial message. Are the girls always crazy? Try speaking in "I" statements and open up about your feelings instead of blaming them. You need to change yourself before changing others.

You're just not communicating! Most of us here are dealing with someone from another culture. There are obviously cultural differences and that creates tension. No, sorry, all cultures are not the same. There are some things that are super weird even to those of us who have moved around a bit. Culture shock always happens. You know how to change that? Discuss it! Bluntly state your expectations, thoughts and feelings when you get into a big fight. If you stay silent about your relationship and/or social issues, the problem will stay the same. If the other person is doing this to you and won't open up, leave them before things get serious.

GUYS

Stop posting pictures of your dick. Really. Unless a girl/guy specifically asks for it, you're scaring them away.

If you're not living in Japan, stop looking for a Japanese girlfriend/wife. The ladies are mostly laughing at you. This is NOT a third world country and the only ones looking to be "saved" are only after your wallet, and trust me, you can't afford the ones in Tokyo.

Stay on topic. The guy always posting to suck a straight guy off? Post in the m4m section! Be honest in the title. Curious straight guys will find you. In the w4m section, you'll get flagged, if not by a guy, than a lady trying to keep her ad higher on the list. Yes, ladies check out the competition.

LADIES

Write more than "Are you my darling?" or "Looking for someone my age, send pictures." That's why you're getting a million hits. Yes, half these guys are retarded and won't read. Half of them will send dick pictures. Tell them you've seen bigger and link this rant. However, the short posts make you look like a gold digger or prostitute. I'm always hearing about flaggers, but the women with quality posts seem to stay up. I'm guessing some overly hurt or overly moral guy (or girl?) is flagging posts by real girls who just aren't posting real information about what they want. Don't know what you want? Go reply to a man's personal. The decent guys will give any sane girl a chance. There's very few of them here due to the flagger.

When/if you send a picture, send something current. Like, from this year. The guys are calling you scammers. Not just here but on other dating websites. Women are more likely than men to use a picture of themselves that is several years old and/or from an event where they are wearing make-up that makes them appear totally different from their everyday appearance. You don't want lies or scammers? Then don't falsely represent yourself.

Don't come here looking for a guy to fix your broken heart. Sorry, Prince Charming married Miss Perfect. A lot of these guys are looking to prey on your weaknesses. When/if you find a nice guy, you'll probably rant about your ex on the first date and scare him way. The guys I know (who are happily married) always said to watch out for girls who mention marriage/children, psychiatric issues, or their ex on the first three dates. Break those rules and you lose the nice guys but find the ones looking to take advantage of you, which includes the ones that think they can repair broken hearts. They're more messed up than you. Go out with your friends, take up a new hobby, just do something else, then come back here when you're not so desperate.