An interview with Thanos

NOTE1: Jon suggested we do a video chat during my “involuntary hiatus” and everything was arranged through his PA.

NOTE2: I submitted this interview to the CEO BEFORE the recent changes went live. I debated whether or not to post this, but since he did take the time to answer the questions, I figured posting it would be the decent thing to do, even tho I don't agree with the recent implementation. I gave them my two cents on the matter (privately). Time will tell which one of us was right.

First of all, I'd like to thank you for reaching out and offering to have that sit-down back in February. It was a great opportunity for me to hear the business side of things and to shed light on the user's side of things.

In this interview, I would like to touch on the biggest concerns users have--review process, fake profiles, and abuse. Shedding some light on how the site is tackling these issues now, what initiatives are in the works, and what improvements users can look forward to will give the users the impression that they're being kept in the loop.

During our talk, you said that the site working on an initiative to improve the review process this year.

Q: What kind of measures are in the works and when will they be implemented?

A: I think we're the only adult dating site that actually tries to find the fake profiles and take them down rather than create them. When you stop and think about it, when a web site allows users to chat and exchange contact information, even a machine that passes the Turing test won't be able to detect fakes without fail. And, of course, the technology behind this type of chat bot is getting more and more advanced with AI.

I can't comment on exact measures and timelines, because that is counter productive to successfully combating the fraud, but I can say that we have an experienced team of people who look at the motivations behind this fraud to try and stay a few steps ahead of it.

Q: What measures are currently in place to take down the fakes and are there any policies in the works to determine if the newly signed up user is real?

A: We take down many fake profiles every single day and have many tests and algorithms to discern real from fake users. It's never going to be infallible. The most important thing our users need to know is that if another user is asking them to go to another web site, that's usually the start of something that's not good. Use common sense. If a person wants to meet you, they don't need to do it on another web site. Never, ever, enter your AFF credentials on such a site, even if it looks like AFF, and never, ever, enter your credit card information.

Q: Does the site have the technology to detect and reject AI-generated profiles?

A: Yes we do, but again, we can't detect and reject any AI-generated profile. We are using AI ourselves to try to get better at this.

Over the years, the site has become more and more toxic for women. As a personal belief, I think it's due in part to the way the site is marketed, leaning heavily into how easily one can get laid once membership is bought. Yes, sex sells, but the marketing is dehumanizing and objectifying women on the site. Men act as if they're entitled to sex.

While the site cannot control human behavior and as the wise comedian Ron White once said, "you can't fix stupid," there are ways to educate users and humanize the opposite sex once the membership process is complete.

Q: Is there anything planned or do you have initiatives in the works to remind new users that it's another human being behind that keyboard?

A: Actually, we have a lot of initiatives this year to make the site more friendly for women. You're going to see the new snippets and moments features, a better onboarding experience for female members, introductory videos, enhanced verification, and a "gentleman score" for members to rate interactions. It's important for our male members to realize that while AFF is a place for people to meet and "hook up", chivalry is never unappreciated.

Q: What does it take to get an abusive member banned? Do you have any tips on how to effectively report an abuser? What advice can you give to users facing harassment?

A: This is a really difficult issue because we have a lot of situations in which the complainer and the person being complained about both think the other has abused them, and both firmly believe this from their own particular perspective. We would really like to remind everyone using AFF that it is a place for tolerance and respect, as romance, friendship, and intimate connection should always involve these goals. If a user repeatedly disregards our rules, or is really trying to harm another user, that's when we need to consider banning. That being said, our customer service is always ready to take a report and try to help a user.

Q: Moving forward, what do you envision for the site? What enhancements are in the works? What can users do to help improve the site?

A: We are working hard to improve the site and I've mentioned some of the enhancements for 2024 above. Users help us by using the site and providing constructive feedback on what we can do better.

Lastly, I titled this post "An interview with Thanos" since we shared a good laugh when I asked you how it feels to be a villain after you shared how you prefer talking face to face, whether in person or virtually, since it's too easy to dehumanize and vilify someone when being behind a keyboard. Do you have a message to anyone reading this interview?

I am definitely not looking to kill off half of AFF's population! To anyone reading the interview, I'd like to thank you for being a member. We are trying to always be better, yet akin to Abraham Lincoln's quote, "you can't please all of the people even some of the time." There are human beings behind every keyboard involved at AFF, whether they be users or employees. I try to remember this and I hope you do as well. Thank you again.

Thank you, Jon, for taking the time to do this interview

Unrelated photo. Green tea packaged to look like cigarette boxes (cigarettes are called tobacco in Japan, tea is "cha", so "chabacco" is a play on words).